The Witzard

"MCDONALD’S, MAN MCDONALD’S, MAN THE FRENCH FRIES HAD A PLAN THE FRENCH FRIES HAD A PLAN THE SALAD BAR AND THE KETCHUP MADE A BAND 'CUS THE FRENCH FRIES HAD A PLAN THE FRENCH FRIES HAD A PLAN MCDONALD’S, MAN MCDONALD’S I KNOW THEM FRENCH FRIES HAVE A PLAN I KNOW THEM FRENCH FRIES HAVE A PLAN THE CHEESEBURGER AND THE SHAKES FORMED A BAND TO OVERTHROW THE FRENCH FRIES’ PLAN I ALWAYS KNEW THEM FRENCH FRIES WAS EVIL, MAN SMELLING ALL GOOD AND SH*T I DON’T TRUST NO FOOD THAT SMELLS GOOD, MAN I DON’T TRUST IT I JUST CAN’T MCDONALD’S, MAN MCDONALD’S, MAN MCDONALD’S, DAMN THEM FRENCH FRIES LOOK GOOD [THOUGH] I KNEW THE DIET COKE WAS JEALOUS OF THE FRIES I KNEW THE MCNUGGETS WAS JEALOUS OF THE FRIES EVEN THE MCRIB WAS JEALOUS OF THE FRIES I COULD SEE IT THROUGH HIS ARTIFICIAL MEAT EYES AND HE ONLY BE THERE SOME OF THE TIME EVERYBODY WAS JEALOUS OF THEM FRENCH FRIES EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE SPECIAL GUY... THAT SMOOTH APPLE PIE" - TEXT BY KANYE WEST.

Once you're able to get past the semi-absurd notion that Jay-Z decided to employ former- N'sync er Justin Timberlake to re-sing some Nirvana lyrics, "And we all just / entertainers / and we're stupid / and contagious," "Holy Grail" is actually a pretty awesome album opener/lead single contender. While Jay-Z & Beyoncé were spotted at a Grizzly Bear show pre- Blueprint 3 and Empire of The Sun frontman Luke Steele actually sang back-up vocals on that very album, it seems as though Beyoncé 's 27-year-old Indie Rock -loving little sister Solange really has quite the influence on Jay-Z 's varied musical tastes; Not only does Magna Carta Holy Grail (MCHG) feature interpolated Nirvana & R.E.M. lyrics, but it also makes use of M.I.A. and Alternative Hip-Hop weirdo Gonjasufi samples, "Bad Girls" and "Nikels and Dimes" respectively. Thanks to Samsung Galaxies , MCHG has already "sold" 1 million+ cop...

It kinda seems like Weekend Money were added to the Das Racist/Union Transfer bill in the final hour" ... But man, they've gotta be the TIGHTEST rap crew I've never heard of! Ne$$ & Baghdaddy proceeded to [brutally] open the show and were followed up by fellow Greedhead labelmates: SAFE, Lakutis , and flamboyant rapper LE1F . Impose Magazine goes on to cleverly point out that this is NOT the same Ness that Diddy notoriously sent across the frozen Brooklyn Bridge to buy a cheesecake on Making The Band 2 . Weekend Money Ne$$ was born and raised in Philly and is now co-aligned with politically conscious Hip-Hop group, dead prez . Since immigrating 1/2 way across the world, DJ Baghdaddy has been able to learn/produce under the wing of seasoned Roots beatsmith, Hot Sugar . Ne$$ had a chance meeting with Baghdaddy @ a party; While he had never produced a Hip-Hop beat before, the 2 ended up vibing pretty well... melding together Hip-Hip & Electro att...

Parks & Recreation star and professional funny motherfucker, Aziz Ansari has ascended to the level of fame where he gets to be friends with Jay-Z & Kanye West ; That's him, after all, in the "Otis" video. But he's also very much a dorked-out fan, as the graphic below should make clear. During some recent burst of creativity, Ansari and buddy Matthew Shawver recently recreated all of Jay and Kanye's world-conquering anthem "Niggas In Paris" on the emoticon template Emojis . It's like a monument to the overabundance of spare time. Check it out below. - Tom Breihan (Stereogum)

Frank Ocean is by far the most restrained [musically talented, for that matter] and commercially accessible member of Odd Future . While his overall subject matter is still pretty messed up, it's more in that suave D'Angelo - Teddy Pendergrass type of way. It has yet to be seen if Ocean's public affiliation with the crude and rowdy OF sect will help or hurt his musical career. Frank Ocean is more like Redman anyways; Who was never really a legitimate Wu-Tang member, but without a doubt always considered a pivotal element of the group. A true vigilante of a "businessman," Ocean self-released his debut album Nostalgia, ULTRA online back in mid-Feb. (2011), while Def Jam continued to slack. Needless to say, the label execs. and [female] fans alike are now latching onto his every word. Frank Ocean is currently holed up in the studio, putting the finishing touches on his premier major label release. @ press time, Ocean has played roughly 3-5 live shows and is ...

I recently found myself describing Brandon McCartney as, "[ Lil B ]'s TOTALLY "mental," yet fucking genius! Like if Biz Markie was off his meds." With that said, let me clarify that I'm a long-time fan of both Biz and Lil B . I harvest a certain amount of respect for anyone who's able to get that un-hinged, honest, and revealing. 9 times out of 10, Lil B employs the "#BASED" [stream-of-conscious] rapping technique throughout his original compositions. Since the June release of "street album," I'm Gay, Lil B has somehow managed to release 2-4 mixtapes - Roughly one every 2-3 weeks. The Silent President is the latest mixtape liberated in this string of on-going releases. Highlighted here, for your listening pleasure, are "Great China Sea" and "Beat the Cancer:" Freestyles over Kanye/Jay-Z and Metallica -driven beats, respectively. If that sounds like it just might pique your interest... or if Lil B ...

Let's be real... By now, 3/4's of Internet Dwellers have most likely heard tell of Watch the Throne . Long-time collaborators, Kanye & Jay-Z ["The Throne"] have finally re-joined forces to craft a full-length album of cold, hard beats and rhymes. Crisp backing tracks were submitted from an array of All-Star Producers including but not limited to Q-Tip, The Neptunes, RZA , and Swizz Beatz ... Now for a collection of eloquently-laced words and numbers [stats]: - Unleashed to iTunes Mon. August 8th. - Subsequently reached #1 in some 23 countries world-wide. - EXCLUSIVELY sold @ Best Buy between August 12-22 . - Projected Week 1 sales: 400-500,000 units. - Standard CD: 12 tracks. Deluxe Edition: 16 - Traditional "Radio Singles:" 0 - Maybach -Motorenbau GmbH: $380,000 ( African Child donation) While most unsuspecting fans will take the "Watch the Throne" album title as a jab to up-and-coming rappers attempting to steal "T...

Das Racist - "Michael Jackson" "Below, is a track-by-track commentary on Kanye's [ My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy ]. I wrote it on my Blackberry on an airplane 32,000 feet in the air, while listening to the album in its entirety for the first time. Kanye West is the most important rapper of the last 10 years and the most important rapper/producer of all of Hip-Hop.... 1.) "Dark Fantasy" Nicki Minaj's English accent is pretty bad. This is the 2nd most anthemic song on an album of anthems. Subtle anthemic swag. Trumpets. Pianos. Beat is dripping 90's Rap. Songs from the "Runaway" video now can't escape its imagery - which I think is dope. 'bravery in bravado'. Headless horseman motif - here Kanye and oral sex, there convertibles and Pusha T. Celine Dion is ugly. "The plan was to drink until the pain over / But what's worse, the pain or the hangover" - the stuff 90's aol personal profile favorite quotes...