America's #1 Rap-Singer, Action Bronson Super-slam Dunks on Godzilla & Assorted Madness in "Actin' Crazy" Video (VICE Records)

"Kanye, Mark Ronson, Lana del Rey, and Kid Cudi collaborator and hit-making super-producer Emile Haynie has finally unleashed his debut "solo" album, We Fall, after nearly 24 years in the music industry..." is roughly how my Emile Haynie "Falling Apart," his creation which features vocal assistance from Brian Wilson and Miike Snow frontman Andrew Wyatt, piece would have likely started, until I suddenly hit a brick wall with its overall direction. I'm sure Haynie's star-studded album is great, but I just simply lost interest in writing about it; although, maybe a We Fall-centric piece will materialize itself and grace the pages of The Witzard in the not-so-distant future. Enter: a typically slow, bone-chillingly cold Friday afternoon, at which my attention was forthwith reverted towards America's self-proclaimed #1 Rap-Singer, Action Bronson's latest Noah "40" Shebib-produced single, "Actin' Crazy." Its official VICE Records-sanctioned video treatment plays out somewhat like an MTV making-the-video look at a movie set or in this case, Bronson's relatively low-budget green screen-aided "Actin' Crazy" video set.

"What a weird and wild world he's conjured up for himself, laying somewhere between Dr. Evil's mountain-top volcano [lair] and a game of NBA Jam," as okayplayer fittingly describes it. Action Bronson can be seen sailing through outer-space in a slim-fit rocketship, rowing what appears to be some sort of feathered/snake-like viking vessel, piloting a laser-mounted shark (à la his "Actin' Crazy" single cover), slam dunking a miles-high shot on Godzilla, and landing a staggering 10-10-10-rated cliff split, all the while, being lint rolled by two beautiful women between takes. It's truly the perfect zonked-out end to a record headline-setting week; wherein Bronson unleashed a Boogie Nights-referencing MR. WONDERFUL album trailer co-starring producer buddy Party Supplies and Danny "Little Pete" Tamberelli of The Adventures of Pete & Pete fame, quietly debuting Oh No-produced album track "Only In America," and unofficially announcing a currently untitled cartoon show, as well as season #2 of F*ck, That's Delicious coming to cable TV in the near future. I would expect the latest webisode of FTD, which is rumored to feature Chef Mario Batali, to premier at some point ahead of MR. WONDERFUL's soon forthcoming March 23-24th release date.

"Let Me Shine for You:" Lindsay Lohan for Playboy (Winter 2011-12 Leak)

Lindsay Lohan essentially embodies exactly "What NOT to Do In Hollywood :" Fame, fortune, success... sex, drugs & Rock "N" Roll . Within a fairly short period of time, Lohan somehow managed to obtain a plentiful helping of POWER @ a very young age. This gradual rise-downfall was captured on film; Between 1998-2010, she portrayed a wide array of roles across the silver screen in movies including: Mean Girls, Bobby , Herbie Fully Loaded , Georgia Rule, Machete , and Freaky Friday . Between rapid-paced film shoots, Lindsay Lohan also found time to record 2 Pop Rock albums for Casablanca , Speak (2004) and A Litter More Personal-Raw (2005). Needless to say, Lindsay Lohan has gotten roped up in a lot of troubles and woes with the law over the last 3-5 years... a vicious cycle of drugs, arrest, court, rehab, "daddy issues," jail time [Repeat]. That's the pure basics of it - But Google that shit for additional info, if necessary. Towards the end of

[W]reckless, Topless American Youth: Lana del Rey - "Born 2 Die" (Britney Spears Birthday 30)

Lana del Rey [Lizzy Grant] effectively became 2011's "It Girl" with the release of her phenomenal debut single, "Video Games" (Stranger) . Like many struggling singer-songwriters, Grant has been signed, dropped, and significantly changed her public image since bursting onto the scene (2009). With that said, it can be assumed that Lana del Rey has collected just as many "haters" as she has avid supporters. To be perfectly honest, the only other artist I can think of that made this much commotion... garnered so much wide-spread buzz/hate and critical acclaim -- right out of the gates -- with just one track is Britney Spears . And maybe in this post- Mike musical era, that's the true synthesis of Pop Culture: Britney Lynn Spears . After months of repeated teasing and speculation, Lana del Rey 's major label debut, Born 2 Die will [finally] be released this coming Jan. 30-31, 2012. Pitchfork reports that it will feature "Off to The Ra

Liberty Bell Cracked In 1/2: Ween - "Freedom of '76" (Gene Ween's Final Send-Off)

Chocolate & Cheese (1994) was one of the first albums I bought with my own money. I was in some sort of BMG Music Club , where you'd buy 5 CD's and then get 10 for "FREE." It was all sent through mail order and you picked the titles from some special booklet. I'm almost positive that Chocolate & Cheese's side boob-baring album cover was what initially drew me in... mind you, I was 12-15 and the zany Ween logo/middle finger CD graphic really didn't hurt either. Honestly, I forget how I really felt about it @ the time, but a few years later, my older cousin Josh told me that Ween were this BIG college "jam band." CKY did some sort pf 93.3 radio takeover to promote their new album and played "Freedom of '76" late that night on air. Needless to say, I re-visited Chocolate & Cheese @ about 20-something this go 'round and I fucking loved it! Ween were really weird, yet talented... almost too talented. I can vaguel

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