America's #1 Rap-Singer, Action Bronson Super-slam Dunks on Godzilla & Assorted Madness in "Actin' Crazy" Video (VICE Records)

"Kanye, Mark Ronson, Lana del Rey, and Kid Cudi collaborator and hit-making super-producer Emile Haynie has finally unleashed his debut "solo" album, We Fall, after nearly 24 years in the music industry..." is roughly how my Emile Haynie "Falling Apart," his creation which features vocal assistance from Brian Wilson and Miike Snow frontman Andrew Wyatt, piece would have likely started, until I suddenly hit a brick wall with its overall direction. I'm sure Haynie's star-studded album is great, but I just simply lost interest in writing about it; although, maybe a We Fall-centric piece will materialize itself and grace the pages of The Witzard in the not-so-distant future. Enter: a typically slow, bone-chillingly cold Friday afternoon, at which my attention was forthwith reverted towards America's self-proclaimed #1 Rap-Singer, Action Bronson's latest Noah "40" Shebib-produced single, "Actin' Crazy." Its official VICE Records-sanctioned video treatment plays out somewhat like an MTV making-the-video look at a movie set or in this case, Bronson's relatively low-budget green screen-aided "Actin' Crazy" video set.

"What a weird and wild world he's conjured up for himself, laying somewhere between Dr. Evil's mountain-top volcano [lair] and a game of NBA Jam," as okayplayer fittingly describes it. Action Bronson can be seen sailing through outer-space in a slim-fit rocketship, rowing what appears to be some sort of feathered/snake-like viking vessel, piloting a laser-mounted shark (à la his "Actin' Crazy" single cover), slam dunking a miles-high shot on Godzilla, and landing a staggering 10-10-10-rated cliff split, all the while, being lint rolled by two beautiful women between takes. It's truly the perfect zonked-out end to a record headline-setting week; wherein Bronson unleashed a Boogie Nights-referencing MR. WONDERFUL album trailer co-starring producer buddy Party Supplies and Danny "Little Pete" Tamberelli of The Adventures of Pete & Pete fame, quietly debuting Oh No-produced album track "Only In America," and unofficially announcing a currently untitled cartoon show, as well as season #2 of F*ck, That's Delicious coming to cable TV in the near future. I would expect the latest webisode of FTD, which is rumored to feature Chef Mario Batali, to premier at some point ahead of MR. WONDERFUL's soon forthcoming March 23-24th release date.

"Let Me Shine for You:" Lindsay Lohan for Playboy (Winter 2011-12 Leak)

Lindsay Lohan essentially embodies exactly "What NOT to Do In Hollywood :" Fame, fortune, success... sex, drugs & Rock "N" Roll . Within a fairly short period of time, Lohan somehow managed to obtain a plentiful helping of POWER @ a very young age. This gradual rise-downfall was captured on film; Between 1998-2010, she portrayed a wide array of roles across the silver screen in movies including: Mean Girls, Bobby , Herbie Fully Loaded , Georgia Rule, Machete , and Freaky Friday . Between rapid-paced film shoots, Lindsay Lohan also found time to record 2 Pop Rock albums for Casablanca , Speak (2004) and A Litter More Personal-Raw (2005). Needless to say, Lindsay Lohan has gotten roped up in a lot of troubles and woes with the law over the last 3-5 years... a vicious cycle of drugs, arrest, court, rehab, "daddy issues," jail time [Repeat]. That's the pure basics of it - But Google that shit for additional info, if necessary. Towards the end of...

Jet Planes, Islands, Tigers On a Gold Leash: Lorde - "Royals" (The Weeknd Remixo)

I think it's pretty safe to say that The Weeknd (Abel Tesfaye) comfortably teeters the fine line between glitched-out smooth New Age R&B and hard-hitting Hip-Hop ; while the same could arguably be said for 16-year-old New Zealand new-comer, Lorde . Her break-out single "Royals" 1/2 jokingly shouts out semi-common bravado-worthy shit like: diamonds, "gold teeth, Grey Goose ... Cadillacs, Cristal, Maybach ... jet planes, islands, [and] tigers on a gold leash." But now, the Lorde/Weeknd connection has been further solidified, as Tesfaye recently managed to conjure up and release his own "Royals" remix. My beautiful girlfriend said earlier, and I paraphrase, that it "makes her wanna dance lol and she could [likely] hear this remix in a future movie!" Following the wide-spread release of her first 2 EP's (Love Club & Tennis Court) , Universal Republic plans to unleash Lorde 's proper debut album, Pure Heroine between ...

Pop Artist & Surfer Chronicle Intriguing Ex-Pornstar In "SASHA GREY."

Seemingly made to co-exist as thought-provoking companion pieces... "LINDSAY LOHAN" directors Richard Phillips & Taylor Steele are back with their most recent Art Presentation, "SASHA GREY." The 90-second short film was shot in early May @ John Lautner Chemosphere House in Los Angeles, CA. Both striking flicks will be shown on a giant floating video screen [ "Commercial Break" ] @ Garage Center for Contemporary Culture in Venice, Italy (June 1-5). "Adult acting chops" aside, Sasha (23) seems very intelligent, captivating, free-spirited, business savvy, well-mannered, charming... and dare I say, "average." And I really think that's exactly what Phillips/Steele were trying to convey throughout the course of the piece; Grey's beauty, public draw, sheer likeability, and honesty will surely take her very far in future endeavors... Solidifying her [updated] image as a true "Pop Culture Figure." * Featured soundtra...

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