Wax Watchers: Direct-from-vinyl Review of Jokes for Feelings' Ska/Punk Too Much Too Hipster 7-inch EP (NEW COLUMN)

I'm proud to present to you, my trusty The Witzard disciples, a new (hopefully) recurring column to be tentatively entitled "Wax Watchers," which will, for the time being, at least, chronicle physical reviews of physical media, such as: full-length vinyl, 7-inches, cassettes, and CD's. This first introductory installment of Wax Watchers will showcase a freshly-pressed 7-inch EP from Bay Area Ska Punks Jokes for Feelings (JFF) entitled Too Much Too Hipster. Last October, I was "cold sent" a pre-release digital single from JFF called "Sweet Song," which was slated to appear within the band's then-upcoming 4-song EP to be released at the top of 2018. Last month, Jokes for Feelings played an EP Release Show at notorious West Berkley Punk/Hardcore venue 924 Gilman St. AKA Gilman, along with Mustard PLUG, Buck-O-Nine, Neverlyn, and Shark Punch—awesome band name; just about a week or so ago, I received my characteristically checkered press copy of Jokes for Feelings' Too Much Too Hipster 7-inch EP by mail, which I'll be reviewing track-by-track down below the break! Get your moshin' shoes on and brace yourself for the inaugural installment of The Witzard's Wax Watchers column. Jokes for Feelings' Too Much Too Hipster EP is currently available to stream or download on Amazon, Apple Music, CD Baby, Soundcloud, and Spotify or on 7-inch vinyl directly from the band themselves.

Too Much Too Hipster EP opener "Camphill Lane" sounds something like early 2000's Euro-Ska/Punk, i.e: Gogol Bordello or Balkan Beat Box. It features playful violin-accented lyrics, as well as Gypsy-Punk-esque stylings. Around the 1:30-minute mark, "Camphill Lane" gets characteristically more Jokes for Feelings with accents of Berkley Ska Punks Operation Ivy/Rancid. Sample lyrics: "Hungry Hungry Hippos, where did they go? I miss my Barrel of f***in' Monkeys!!!" The track reverts to its previous Euro Ska/Punk-evoking vibe, before closing.

"Sweet Song" was the first single/teaser I initially heard from the EP back in October 2017. It features a vocal delivery vaguely reminiscent of New Found Glory frontman Jordan Pundik. "Sweet Song" is a slow burning Ska/Punk "love song," which features an incredibly infectious hook, by way of: "never gonna get nowhere until you take a chance with me..." "Sweet Song" additionally, showcases Jokes for Feelings' extremely talented then-horn section of trombonist Dice and trumpet player Angela, as well as a top-notch shreddin' guitar solo from either Bill or Josh Raphael. New trombonists Allie Miller & Noah Ortiz, as well as as player Michael Booker have been added since the EP's recording sessions. "Sweet Song" closes out Side A.

"The Muppet Show with My Bro" sounds something like an old pre-Enema of The State Blink-182 jam. Lead vocals reminiscent of ...And Out Come The Wolves-era Rancid are accented by 2 Tone Ska-evocative horns. It consist of silly, youthful lyrics, such as: "he was tough as hard nails and he crushed up all my snails." "The Muppet Show with My Bro" is brimming with cartoonish lyrical references to "Saturday morning cartoons" and memories of watching The Muppet Show "on the couch with my bro."

Too Much Too Hipster EP Side B closer "Vitamin Girl" instantly comes in with the rather anthemically-posed question: "won't you be my vitamin guuu-rrrrlllll?" Harnessed within is a classically-composed Punk/Hardcore ripper reminiscent of Alien Ant Farm, Blink-182, Fall Out Boy, and Sum 41. "Vitamin Girl" even contains a few Techno/Electro-sounding bleeps and blips with references to staring "through the smoke-filled laser beams." However, for the end-all-be-all review, my beautiful fiance Caroline added: "it's so '07; I love it... but I feel like I'm 17 again!"

"Let Me Shine for You:" Lindsay Lohan for Playboy (Winter 2011-12 Leak)

Lindsay Lohan essentially embodies exactly "What NOT to Do In Hollywood :" Fame, fortune, success... sex, drugs & Rock "N" Roll . Within a fairly short period of time, Lohan somehow managed to obtain a plentiful helping of POWER @ a very young age. This gradual rise-downfall was captured on film; Between 1998-2010, she portrayed a wide array of roles across the silver screen in movies including: Mean Girls, Bobby , Herbie Fully Loaded , Georgia Rule, Machete , and Freaky Friday . Between rapid-paced film shoots, Lindsay Lohan also found time to record 2 Pop Rock albums for Casablanca , Speak (2004) and A Litter More Personal-Raw (2005). Needless to say, Lindsay Lohan has gotten roped up in a lot of troubles and woes with the law over the last 3-5 years... a vicious cycle of drugs, arrest, court, rehab, "daddy issues," jail time [Repeat]. That's the pure basics of it - But Google that shit for additional info, if necessary. Towards the end of...

[W]reckless, Topless American Youth: Lana del Rey - "Born 2 Die" (Britney Spears Birthday 30)

Lana del Rey [Lizzy Grant] effectively became 2011's "It Girl" with the release of her phenomenal debut single, "Video Games" (Stranger) . Like many struggling singer-songwriters, Grant has been signed, dropped, and significantly changed her public image since bursting onto the scene (2009). With that said, it can be assumed that Lana del Rey has collected just as many "haters" as she has avid supporters. To be perfectly honest, the only other artist I can think of that made this much commotion... garnered so much wide-spread buzz/hate and critical acclaim -- right out of the gates -- with just one track is Britney Spears . And maybe in this post- Mike musical era, that's the true synthesis of Pop Culture: Britney Lynn Spears . After months of repeated teasing and speculation, Lana del Rey 's major label debut, Born 2 Die will [finally] be released this coming Jan. 30-31, 2012. Pitchfork reports that it will feature "Off to The Ra...

Liberty Bell Cracked In 1/2: Ween - "Freedom of '76" (Gene Ween's Final Send-Off)

Chocolate & Cheese (1994) was one of the first albums I bought with my own money. I was in some sort of BMG Music Club , where you'd buy 5 CD's and then get 10 for "FREE." It was all sent through mail order and you picked the titles from some special booklet. I'm almost positive that Chocolate & Cheese's side boob-baring album cover was what initially drew me in... mind you, I was 12-15 and the zany Ween logo/middle finger CD graphic really didn't hurt either. Honestly, I forget how I really felt about it @ the time, but a few years later, my older cousin Josh told me that Ween were this BIG college "jam band." CKY did some sort pf 93.3 radio takeover to promote their new album and played "Freedom of '76" late that night on air. Needless to say, I re-visited Chocolate & Cheese @ about 20-something this go 'round and I fucking loved it! Ween were really weird, yet talented... almost too talented. I can vaguel...

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