The Witzard

Discogs simply describes JAY-Z, The Ultimate Warriors ‎– Split 12-inch as: "a JAY-Z 12-inch single glued to The Ultimate Warrior's Our Gimmick Is Wrestling LP. Limited to 30 copies for Record Store Day 2017 at Double Decker Records. Some copies have orange "IMPORT" sticker on the front. Some copies have the the A-side of Our Gimmick Is Wrestling LP playable and some have the B-side." The Ultimate Warriors were a Nazareth-based Wrestling-themed Hardcore/Powerviolence band active from about 1998-2003, which notoriously heralded as a pre-Pissed Jeans incarnation of Pissed Jeans; featuring Matt "Rageez" Kosloff (Korvette,) Brad "The Mothaf**ka" Real (Fry,) and Little Randy Youth (Huth,) as well as additional members who went on to form Pearls & Brass, The Gate Crashers, and Torchbearer. Throughout their short, yet sweet tenure, The Ultimate Warriors unleashed seven singles and split EP's with the likes of Abathakothie, Warrior Noise, Da...

"'The Bar Is Low," which, according to [Matt] Korvette , is "about how every guy seems to be revealing themselves as a sh*thead. It seems like every guy is getting outed, across every board of entertainment and politics and music. There’s no guy that isn’t a total creep,'" reads a fragmented chunk of Sub Pop 's latest WHY LOVE NOW-announcing Pissed Jeans press release; " WHY LOVE NOW picks at the bursting seams that are barely holding 21st-century life together," describes Sub Pop 's press release, which additionally refers to "The Bar Is Low" as a "grinding rave-up." It can only be assumed that Korvette is likely referring to one-time men of power and current American disgrace stories like Bill Cosby , Swans frontman Michael Gira , fallen Indie Rock PR heavyweight Heathcliff Berru , and our newly-elected President Trump . Pissed Jeans recruited New York No Wave pioneer Lydia Lunch , who's worked with eve...

"Power-dirge from Pennsylvania ; Pissed Jeans are noisy as a motherf*cker and proud of it on this, their debut full-length, which sounds like a big pile of mud and broken glass ripping through your stereo speaker in the most killer way imaginable," reads a juicy chunk of Sub Pop's overtly descriptive Shallow re-issue mini-press release. Frontman and part-time music critic Matt Korvette along with his fellow Pissed Jean-ers enlisted frequent collaborator Joe Stakun , who previously directed Honeys stand-outs "Bathroom Laughter" and "Romanticize Me," to shoot a clip for "Boring Girls" from their newly-remastered nine-year-old Shallow album (2005). Not entirely unlike Stakun's former creations, "Boring Girls" is an oddly disjointed visual presentation, which perfect matches Pissed Jeans' whole self-imploding Noise-Rock aesthetic; it starts out resembling your run-of-the-mill clip, with our long john-outfitted prot...

Although he largely retired from competitive figure skating around 2009-10, Braden Overett has decided to make a comeback, of sorts... call it a "blaze of glory" by way of Pissed Jeans new Joe Stakun -directed music video, "Romanticize Me." While the phrases Hardcore Punk and figure skating don't exactly line up, Stanuk makes it work much better than I could've (n)ever imagined; Upon announcing his retirement nearly 4 years ago, Overett penned an insightful article for USFS SKATING magazine, which blatantly laments, "In my mind, I was different... When I was done, it would either be because I had won the Olympics 19 times and broken all possible world records. I would have reached the pinnacle of sports fame, driving a different exotic car every day of the week and buying small countries with my 900 bazillion dollars. Or, I'd walk into the rink one day and there would be a giant neon sign reading: "Braden Overett's Retiring Today!...

Roughly 10 years and 4 albums deep into their career now, "Bathroom Laughter" is only Pissed Jeans' third music video!; Not too far behind behind Thrash Jams like "False Jesii, Part 2" and "I've Still Got You (Ice Cream)" (2007-09). Matt Korvette, Brad Fry, Randy Huth , and Sean McGuiness unleashed Honeys , which was recorded @ Milkboy Studios (Philly) with producer Alex Newport , on Sub Pop this past Tuesday, Feb. 12th. For you un-familiar slackers, Pissed Jeans kinda sounds like late 80's experimental Black Flag , complete with fuzzed out guitar licks and 1/2 sung-shouted vocal fragments. It's director Joe Stakun 's demented riff a late night knife set-selling info-mercial gone terribly wrong, which somehow morphs into a bloody rotten mess! We're talkin' about VMA -worthy performances from Mark Proksch (The Office), nerdy My Life As Liz [Lee] dame, up-and-coming actress Leigh Myles , and Philly wrestler Dragon...