Guts of The Ice - An Exploration of "Puck" Rock/Hockey-core #19: Drunk Bastard vs. OFFSIDE REIDARS (The Witzard Interview)
Not entirely unlike Wrestle/Wrassle Rap or Basketball Rap, there's, apparently, a whole sub-genre of hockey-themed Punk/Hardcore—oftentimes, referred to as "Puck" Rock or Hockey-core. Yes, I've been a die-hard fan of Punk/Hardcore for 15+ years and I, too, only first heard about Puck Rock within the last few weeks. Although, once I started diggin' around, I discovered about 10-15 bands at the forefront; this was, then, gradually narrowed down to 10 "front-line" bands, which will be chronicled here over the course of coming weeks. The "top-scoring" bands we selected include: Crippled Youth, SLAPSHOT, The Hanson Brothers/Nomeansno, Two Man Advantage, The Boils, D.O.A. THE ZAMBONIS, Pansy Division, The Hextalls, and THE RAMOMS' "Gritty Is A Punk" flexi-disc. We sent out a short 6-question interview form to all of the aforementioned bands, received some back, heard a few choice words, and still have yet to hear from a few more. We'll be running those interviews, as well as features, profiles, etc. in the coming weeks. EDITOR'S NOTE: be warned, while I'm a casual hockey fan, I DO NOT claim to be an "expert" on the sport, nor will I EVER claim to know "everything" about hockey-themed Punk/Hardcore. Now, let's just try to have some fun and learn more about the sub-genre together!
For this week's installment of Guts of The Ice, we have a head-to-head face-off style interview featuring Drunk Bastard (Spag) from Two Man Advantage interviewing Jari Mikkola, Juha Tuiskuvaara & Jari Körkkö from Beerleague Hockeycore band, OFFSIDE REIDARS. Jari M. Juha & Jari K. are, actually, all part of a notorious Finnish beerleague hockey team called Reidars, as well. Both Spag & Jari Mikkola participated within previous installments of Guts of The Ice... but this time, we have the full 3-man line-up of OFFSIDE REIDARS. Two Man Advantage have been active since about 1997 and are based out of New York, while OFFSIDE REIDARS have only been around since 2019-20 and are based out of Rovaniemi/Lapland, Finland. Spag's questions cover everything from hockey/band positions and favorite Finnish players to OFFSIDE REDIARS' self-titled debut mini-LP. It's definitely one for the books when it comes to Cross-continental Hockey Punk/Punk Rock-themed interviews! OFFSIDE REIDARS' debut mini-LP is now available in Finland, via Hiljaiset/Roku Records, on limited edition vinyl and digitally on Bandcamp for the rest of the world. Spag has mentioned he's planning to host a Two Man Advantage mega-show with a bunch of the bands mentioned within Guts of The Ice once this whole COVID-19 Global Pandemic is over and concerts can be safely hosted/attended again. So, that's something to look forward to!
Sincerely,
Matt "The Witzard" Horowitz
Puck Rock/Hardcore Purveyor
01. Drunk Bastard: Please, give your name/position and instrument?
Jari Mikkola: Jari Mikkola/Defense, guitar and vocals.
Juha Tuiskuvaara: Juha Tuiskuvaara/Defense, bass and backing vocals.
Jari Körkkö: Jari Körkkö/Forward (Left Wing,) drums.
02. Bastard: What is your favorite NHL team?
Mikkola: Probably, Montreal Canadiens [Habs]. The first NHL game I saw was a Habs home game at Bell Center, Montreal. That was a memorable evening. And, at the moment, I like The Nashville Predators, too. They have lots of Finns on the team. And they have Pekka Rinne!
Tuiskuvaara: Any team with lots of Finns... Carolina Hurricanes.
Mikkola: Oh yeah, that "bunch of jerks" is one of the favs, at the moment, also.
Körkkö: Detroit Red Wings. The 90's Detroit Red Wings with the dominating Russians.
03. Bastard: Would you like to see The NHL expand over to Europe?
Mikkola: Global Series is enough. More afternoon games over there in The US & Canada would be nice.
Tuiskuvaara: Yes, Global Series are enough.
Körkkö: Same.
04. Bastard: Out of all the Finnish players in The NHL past and present, who would you say is the gamesaver and why?
Körkkö: Is "gamesaver" a goalie, or can it be any position?
Mikkola: Jari Kurri. Wayne Gretzky would not be as big as he is without him. Esa Tikkanen for trash talk. Pekka Rinne & Tuukka Rask of the goalies.
Tuiskuvaara: Pekka Rinne or Tuukka Rask.
Drunk Bastard: How does Teemu Selanne, "The Finnish Flash," not make the list. Over 600 goals. He would make my list!
05. Bastard: Which NHL goalie was known for blocking shots with their face, but he claims that his mask saved him of over 500 stitches?
Mikkola: I can't remember the name now, but I remember the image of the mask where he drew all the stitches...
Tuiskuvaara: Dunno.
Körkkö: Same.
Bastard: I guess, since you are Hab's fans (Habs blow, by the way) you may have forgotten Boston Bruins' Gerry Cheevers. By the way, he hates Carey Price and loves Tuukka!
Mikkola: Our song "Block The Shots" was partly inspired by P.K. Subban. When he was traded to The Predators he said that "I will block a shot with my face for these guys." That's the attitude!
06. Bastard: Which Finnish NHL goalie was/is the best at covering the 5 Hole and what do Finns think of The NHL Shootout? Name your Top 3 Finnish Shootout Shooters.
Mikkola: Tuukka Rask. NHL Shootout is fine, but I would not mind seeing The Spin-O-Rama back. 3 Top Finnish Shootout Shooters: Alexander Barkov, Patrik Laine & Joonas Donskoi. By the way, Donskoi came once to see a Reidars game!
Tuiskuvaara: Alexander Barkov, Barky Barkov & Sasha Barkov
Körkkö: Same.
Bastard: Saku Koivu, Olli Jokinen & Jussi Jokinen.
07. Bastard: It's game day and you are hung over. Coach wants to put you on The Starting Line, but you got the sh*ts. How do you prepare for The Big Game?
Mikkola: Something with caffeine. Lots of it. I am anyway always in The Starting Line, so I am used to it.
Körkkö: One cold beer for relaxing... to get the edge off.
Tuiskuvaara: One beer is just fine.
Bastard: Got to agree with Jari K.: You got to take the edge off before you get in the game!
08. Bastard: Which one of you guys is the best trash talker? What are some of your best chirps?
Mikkola: Juha is the best thrash talker. He once got a team award for being The Bully of The Year. Best chirp? "F**k off to Lapland League!" (Lapland League is the first semi-pro league above our beerleague.)
Tuiskuvaara: Jari M. is the best at that. Best chirp: "You're in the wrong league, dude!"
Körkkö: Juha is really bad when he is in the mood.
09. Bastard: Which NHL player do you fear the most of standing in front of a Slapshot from him? What was the worst injury you had on the ice or stage?
Mikkola: Shea Weber's slapshot kills. Worst injuries: broken nose and broken ankle. Worst stage injury: electric shock from an electric arc that knocked me out totally for 10 seconds. You are supposed to get your heart checked right after this kind of incident, but we were on tour and it took a week before I got my heart checked... I think, it was a lucky re-boot for me.
Tuiskuvaara: Slapshot by Patrik Laine on a bad day. Injury? Broken toe and a 4-inch cut from a hockey blade. Nothing on stage.
Körkkö: Worst injury: I lost three teeth once. A broken wrist. Nothing on stage.
10. Bastard: Is Global Warming killing pond hockey and what can we do to fix that?
Mikkola: Yes, it is. We have seen the winters getting shorter... for years now.
Tuiskuvaara: Yes, it is a fact, not Fake News! We need all the people to take part to fix it. COVID-19 is not that bad for climate. Maybe, hockey should be played more outside; the halls and arenas are, probably, part of the problem...
11. Bastard: Who is the worst player in your band and why can't he play?
Tuiskuvaara: I am not the worst, but the breakthrough season seems to be always ahead, year after year... but you two, you both suck!
Mikkola: Yes, I suck. I'm, obviously, too old for hockey, but I just can't let go. I'm slow and my shots are amazingly slow butterflies. But, then again, the surprise aspect of my poor shots is one of my strengths! Or, so I have been told by our goalies...
Körkkö: I am, probably, the worst. "Feet But No Hands" has been one of my nicknames. And I can't see properly without my glasses. I see three pucks, instead of one.
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