The Witzard Premier: Darko The Super's Dr. Dre & Snoop Dogg-referencing "Put Down The Candy & Let The Little Boy Go!" (Soundcloud Stream & EXCLUSIVE Music Video)

"I made the beat [last week]. It's the first beat I made actually playing everything through my MIDI keyboard. I usually never do that. It felt good to have something completely mine in a way. I was listening to the new Slaves album [Take Control] produced by Mike D of Beastie Boys, before I made the beat; maybe that inspired the sound," Darko The Super (Evan Souza) wrote within a recent statement to accompany his latest single and music video, "Put Down The Candy & Let The Little Boy Go!," which he was kind enough to let me premier right here at The Witzard! "Not too sure what the verses are about, but the chorus describes envying a friend and being dissatisfied with yourself because you're not in a better position like they are, but at least you know them. I wrote the lyrics while taking out the trash, getting a shower, and doing the dishes. I get most of my writing done doing daily tasks," Souza continued. Darko The Super additionally told me that "Put Down The Candy & Let The Little Boy Go!"'s title is a quote from Dr. Dre & Snoop Dogg's Eazy-E dissing "F*ck wit Dre Day (and Everybody's Celebratin')" wherein he's cleverly re-appropriating it as "a metaphor for letting [his] childhood go and facing [his] fears of becoming an adult in the sense of what's acceptable by society's norms; trying to stop embracing [his] inner child and focus on [his] outer adult." "Put Down The Candy"'s beat draws inspiration from Michigan-based Punk band The Spits, Beck's experimental second album, Stereopathetic Soulmanure (1994), and improvised Jazz and Noise artists signed to Already Dead Tapes, whom Darko The Super has "been lucky enough to play shows with and listen to;" already dead tapes & records have previously released Evan's Oh, No! It's Darko and Knox Overstreet.

"Pennsylvania-based human Hip-Hop experiment Evan Souza aka Darko The Super or Doc Heller, invites you to follow him on a bold and warped quest through aural space with his abstract music. Having collaborated with the likes of Homeboy Sandman, Mr. Muthaf*ckin' eXquire, Open Mike Eagle, Pyramid Vritra, Dudley Perkins, Lil B, [Charles Hamilton], and many others, this gifted lyricist is surely prepared to cause your mind to explode like Robot Santa being told a contradiction," reads Darko The Super's self-penned press bio. "Sure to leave your spine tingling, Darko & Doc are here to promote a change in society, positivity, love for all, and a break from the norm. He is set to leave his mark on the world as a disciple of the Bill Hicks' philosophy, "play from your f*cking heart," Souza enthusiastically continued. Darko The Super initially reached out to me about two weeks ago via Twitter, a friend of my frequent collaborator, John "Jumbled" Bachman, and in addition to his solo work as a rapper-producer and crafting beats for everyone from Homeboy Sandman to Lil B, Evan Souza runs his own label imprint called U Don't Deserve This Beautiful Art; "my latest release is a beat tape called Beercan, which I produced during a weekend at a campground in Kalamazoo. I have two recent Rap albums—my latest self-produced Take Me to Your Computer, as well as one using beats by Small Professor, Your Mouth Is Bigger Than Your Entire Brain. The latest album on my label is a new cassette from The Static Brothers, an Experimental Noise-Rap group from Philadelphia." Darko The Super says "Put Down The Candy & Let The Little Boy Go!" will "probably [end up] on an album of the same name," which I would assume will materialize in the not-so-distant future, judging by his rather rapid release schedule.

"Let Me Shine for You:" Lindsay Lohan for Playboy (Winter 2011-12 Leak)

Lindsay Lohan essentially embodies exactly "What NOT to Do In Hollywood :" Fame, fortune, success... sex, drugs & Rock "N" Roll . Within a fairly short period of time, Lohan somehow managed to obtain a plentiful helping of POWER @ a very young age. This gradual rise-downfall was captured on film; Between 1998-2010, she portrayed a wide array of roles across the silver screen in movies including: Mean Girls, Bobby , Herbie Fully Loaded , Georgia Rule, Machete , and Freaky Friday . Between rapid-paced film shoots, Lindsay Lohan also found time to record 2 Pop Rock albums for Casablanca , Speak (2004) and A Litter More Personal-Raw (2005). Needless to say, Lindsay Lohan has gotten roped up in a lot of troubles and woes with the law over the last 3-5 years... a vicious cycle of drugs, arrest, court, rehab, "daddy issues," jail time [Repeat]. That's the pure basics of it - But Google that shit for additional info, if necessary. Towards the end of

[W]reckless, Topless American Youth: Lana del Rey - "Born 2 Die" (Britney Spears Birthday 30)

Lana del Rey [Lizzy Grant] effectively became 2011's "It Girl" with the release of her phenomenal debut single, "Video Games" (Stranger) . Like many struggling singer-songwriters, Grant has been signed, dropped, and significantly changed her public image since bursting onto the scene (2009). With that said, it can be assumed that Lana del Rey has collected just as many "haters" as she has avid supporters. To be perfectly honest, the only other artist I can think of that made this much commotion... garnered so much wide-spread buzz/hate and critical acclaim -- right out of the gates -- with just one track is Britney Spears . And maybe in this post- Mike musical era, that's the true synthesis of Pop Culture: Britney Lynn Spears . After months of repeated teasing and speculation, Lana del Rey 's major label debut, Born 2 Die will [finally] be released this coming Jan. 30-31, 2012. Pitchfork reports that it will feature "Off to The Ra

Liberty Bell Cracked In 1/2: Ween - "Freedom of '76" (Gene Ween's Final Send-Off)

Chocolate & Cheese (1994) was one of the first albums I bought with my own money. I was in some sort of BMG Music Club , where you'd buy 5 CD's and then get 10 for "FREE." It was all sent through mail order and you picked the titles from some special booklet. I'm almost positive that Chocolate & Cheese's side boob-baring album cover was what initially drew me in... mind you, I was 12-15 and the zany Ween logo/middle finger CD graphic really didn't hurt either. Honestly, I forget how I really felt about it @ the time, but a few years later, my older cousin Josh told me that Ween were this BIG college "jam band." CKY did some sort pf 93.3 radio takeover to promote their new album and played "Freedom of '76" late that night on air. Needless to say, I re-visited Chocolate & Cheese @ about 20-something this go 'round and I fucking loved it! Ween were really weird, yet talented... almost too talented. I can vaguel

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