The Witzard

It all started when my older cuz Josh burned me a stack of CD-R's full of pirated music; I couldn't really tell you what was in there... But probably some Beastie Boys , mid-90's Ska, Dave Matthews Band , Phish, mash-ups, and Ryan Adams - "To Be Young (Is to Be Sad, Is to Be High)." It's a self-loathing Alt. Country romper pulled from Adam's solo debut, Heartbreaker (2000), which was later featured in Accepted and Old School . Ryan Adams' abridged discography includes about 13 albums and he's recorded [and vaulted] records-full of everything from Death Metal to Hip-Hop and unreleased Vampire Weekend/The Strokes covers CD-R's. Judd Apatow 's latest film, This Is 40 showcases a specially-formed Ryan Adams Band along with keyboardist Ian McLagan (The Faces) who performed during it's final scenes. Ryan Adams even contributed re-recorded live tracks for inclusion on it's soundtrack, "Lucky Now" and "Shin...

Vampire Weekend successfully managed to engage car enthusiasts nation-wide after torching 2 Saab 900's for use in their "Diane Young" [promo] video; It's unclear what kind of condition the cars were in when Vampire Weekend 's team acquired the used vehicles. The Internet -savvy gearheads @ Jalopnik even penned a heated article titled "Vampire Weekend Are a Bunch of Dicks," which essentially calls out the band. Refuting claims that the 2 Saabs were sold under sketchy circumstances and "torched like a pile of leaves," frontman Ezra Koenig blessed Spinner with quite a few choice words/quotes: "I want people to understand that we do respect cars and the last thing we want to do is to fuck up a collector's item or something like that. Hopefully people believe me when I say that our record label was trying to purchase the cheapest, oldest cars possible; They weren't trying to buy a beautiful perfect condition car." Koeni...

"Wild for The Night" is a pretty vain take on Hip-Hop 's own version of the infamous "sex, drugs & Rock "N" Roll" lifestyle, that's quickly become a crusin' around/weekend ramp up kinda jam for my friends and I amongst countless 20-something Middle Americans . A$AP Rocky released it's debauchery-filled music video a couple days ago, which stars A$AP Mob, Skrillex , and Birdy Nam Nam rippin' it up throughout the Dominican Republic . Looks like Rocky & friends pissed away RCA/Polo Grounds' big budget allotted towards "Wild for The Night" and director Chris Robinson just happened to tag along and film all the hi-jinx that ensued. We're talkin' about everyday/above-average shit like hanging out on rooftops, gun-toting children, practicing karate kicks with friends, seducing hunnies on the beach, motorcycle burn-outs, a late night club gig, etc. The always fashionable A$AP Rocky sports a number of DKNY...

"Tuxedo Funk EP," a mysterious 3-track quick-strike EP was quietly uploaded online about a week ago. It's been slowly picking up steam across The Blogosphere and I finally gave it a listen late Monday night, too. Blue-Eyed Soul crooner Mayer Hawthorne is quite obviously the man handling vocal duties over top of what's rumored to be smooth production work from either Jake-One, RAC , or Dâm-Funk . The unique blend of Soul-Funk , Doo-Wop, Hip-Hop , and EDM ends up sounding something like Bruno Mars meets Daft Punk [or just Chromeo ] ha. Supposedly cloaked in secrecy due to label-binding contracts, I'm sure Tuxedo 's true identities will be revealed eventually; But regardless, there's more Funk housed in these 3 tracks than on Red Hot Chili Pepper's failed 3-album opus, Stadium Arcadium (2006). "Do It" is hands down, my personal favourite track, after a few early listens. Tuxedo Funk 's opener is nearly 4:15 of blazin' Disco-...

Anyone remember a period in time... oh, maybe 10-12 years ago when guys like Lil' Wayne & Fred Durst were still socially relevant and putting out 1/2 decent music? The most interesting thing that Lil' Wayne 's done in recent memory was going into a spurt of codeine-induced seizures (allegedly) and Limp Bizkit signed to his label, Cash Money around this time last year, supposedly broke up , and re-formed since. Needless to say, a Limp Bizkit/Wayne collabo would've likely sounded pretty AWESOME, had it been released between Chocolate Starfish & The Hot Dog Flavored Water and Tha Carter III (2000-08). But as rough as I've made this track sound so far, if Lil' Wayne 's still going for that whole slightly dated sleaze-soaked Rap-Rock vibe, Limp Bizkit 's probably your go-to band of knuckleheads. "Ready to Go" has been in-the-works for the larger part of a year, since initially inking a deal with Cash Money , and was finally unlea...

Anyone think Kendrick Lamar & Ab-Soul got a little confused?; because it sounds like they seriously think AWOLNATION 's break-out single, "Sail" (2001) is new or something. It's also worth noting that AWOLNATION's original track is featured in a commercial for History 's BADASS-looking Vikings show! ha. The Black Hippy/TDE soldiers decided to hop on what sounds like an on-the-fly "Sail" (Remix) for L.A. Leakers , who's DJ tags are littered all over it. From what I can gather, the tragically-named DJ sourMILK switched out most of the band's spaced out guitar licks for some slightly more Hip-Hop friendly drum hits. Take it away, Mr. Lamar : "I'm warning you though, if you love me you never go wrong / We can explore heavy feelings of breathing in Mother Nature 's air / Feelings of knowing I'm rather rare / But there's a reason for all of my madness, the gladness I am that your here." Fingers crossed th...

"Unfortunately we're WAY over budget, uh so we couldn't take out a real commercial; But here's this one," Kurt Vile lamented as he launched into a fairly low-budget "Never Run Away" info-mercial. Airing Wednesday on local Philly area network The CW (channel 57), Vile simply 'drops the needle' on his record player, pops a squat, and lets his 3-year-old daughter dance around their living room. Matador Records will release the proper follow-up to Kurt Vile & The Violators' last album, Smoke for My Halo (2011) this upcoming April 9th; Wakin' on a Pretty Daze is already being toted as a slightly cleaned up, dialed back version of The War on Drugs -affiliated guitarist's scuzzed out lo-fi blend of Indie Rock/Folk -- Kurt Vile himself has dubbed the sound, "Prog-Pop." While it's the single version, which could imply that there's a longer album-length version... previously released album opener, "Waki...

Last week, Death Grips uploaded 5 minute-long semi-cryptic clips dubbed "No Hands" (Parts 1-5), which I hesitated on posting because I kinda figured there'd be more info revealed shortly. Sure enough, by mid-Wednesday afternoon, Death Grips had uploaded the next installment of their video series, "Lock your doors" (NoHands 6) . Drummer/band leaded Zach Hill further elaborated in a short [yet effective] statement, "They are a series of videos related to our recent first-person performance @ SXSW 2013, DXDG . "Lock your doors" (NoHands 6) , which drops today is the summarization of the concept and project.. It could keep going.. NoHands is in reference to the head perspective-oriented filming.." It's culled from footage filmed @ the band's recent SXXW (or DXDG ) show @ Boiler Room , which may or may not have used Google Glass technology or some sort of face-mounted goggle-cams. The live audio and crowd-sourced rumblings have...

It seems as though Danny Brown & A$AP Rocky 's new-found friendship is based around a shared love for middle-aged women with "big tits and curvey asses" ... kinda like Kathy Griffin , for example; The 2 young emcees seem to have met while taking part in Noisey/VICE 's 5-part Back-and-Forth interview series. It was here that they first lamented about Miss Griffin 's dangerously delicious curves: "Who dat - The lady from Family Guy !? Kathy Griffin got a fatty, n*gga! The silly, goofy bitch" Once she heard they were both DTF, Kathy Griffin was surprisingly flattered and had A$AP Rocky, Danny Brown , and Russell Brand appear on her Bravo TV show, "Kathy" (Valentine's Day) . But anyways, while they have yet to trade bars on a LEGIT label-sanctioned track, looks like that'll all soon change with Old (Brown's rumored August album). Danny Brown leaked a partially unfinished version of "Kush Coma" late Tuesday a...

It's pretty damn AMAZING that Dope Body are prepping their sixth EP-LP release, considering the sheer fact that the band was initially assembled for a one-off gig @ Baltimore 's Natural History museum (2008). Drag City will unleash Saturday 7" tomorrow, March 19th; It's positioned to out-sell Justin Timberlake 's return to form, The 20/20 Experience ha. Serving as a quasi-follow-up to last year's Natural History , "Leather Head" was plucked straight off Saturday (Side A) . Four horsemen Andrew Laumann, David Jacober, Zachary "Zeke" Utz , and new bassist John Jones star in "Leather Head"'s stark black-and-white music video. Director Sheena Callage did her best to harness the band's righteous Black Flag meets Rage Against The Machine Hardcore/Noise-Rock vibe. Callage managed to create a very simple, yet highly effective treatment: Dope Body rockin' out in an empty performance space inter-spliced with face-mo...

For argument's sake, I guess I've always been an Usher fan... or @ least an admirer of Mr. Raymond's sheer talent and work ethic. I can vaguely remember nervously asking a few P.Y.T.'s to dance to "U Got It Bad" (2001) @ those painfully cheese-tastic 7-8th grade dances. Paraphrasing Pitchfork staff writer Ryan Dombal , it was an oddly-matched collaboration that no one expected, let alone asked for. But somehow still managed to greatly surpass everyone's non-existent expectations: Friday night @ FADER Fort (SXSW) , Usher wandered on-stage with The Afghan Whigs mid-way through their "Climax" cover. Frontman Greg Dulli & Usher then launched into spirited, guitar-driver renditions of both artists' more well-known tracks, "Somethin' Hot" and scorching set-closer, "OMG." Former- Yeasayer member and solo artist Sinkane (Ahmed Gallab) came on stage to perform a super- Funky version of his own single, ...

Before jet-setting off to SXSW March 15-16th for a secret showcase with ?uestlove & RJD2 , Justin Timberlake stopped by Late Night with Jimmy Fallon for Night 5 of what's being dubbed, #JustinTimberWeek . Ramping up the long-awaited release of The 20/20 Experience this upcoming Tuesday, March 19th , Timberlake decided to string together a medley of greatest hits for the last performance of his week-long stay @ Late Night: "Like I Love You/My Love/Cry Me a River" and "Señorita." Joined on-stage by his 10-piece band, The Tennessee Kids , Justin Timberlake launched into a slow-building acoustic/electric performance that ended up lasting almost 11 sweltering minutes! Anybody else notice that saucy-looking Spanish or white chick singing back-up and cuttin' a rug!? "It feels like something's heating up, can I leave with you?" is what I'd like to holla @ a beautiful girl like that... to which she'd likely reply, "I don'...

Canadian producer Marco Polo 's currently putting the finishing touches on Newport Authority 2 [mixtape], which 2dopeboyz describes as, ""Legendary emcees on beats by Marco Polo " series with samples that were impossible to clear." He recruited the talents of seasoned lyrical assassin, Big Daddy Kane for "Night & Day." Marco Polo somehow managed to flip a sample pulled from Al B. Sure! 's cheese-tastic New Jack Swing/R&B hit, "Nite and Day" (1988); What ensues next are 3 hard-hitting, age-appropriate verses fit for a 44-year-old rapper. I've transcribed a few of Big Daddy Kane 's sharp-tongued bars for the purposes of this here post: "You in your zone, tricking on Patron / with more shots of silver than a werewolf... Shit, baby girl, you said you don't feel appealing. Them breasts ain't looking pirky no more / Them dudes ain't acting thirsty no more." Newport Authority 2 is set to feature ...

VH1 's downright gorgeous Carrie Keagan keeps throwing to Jim James' newly-released music video/single, "A New Life" during Big Morning Buzz 's commercial breaks. It's an oddly endearing acoustic-R&B hybrid jam from his premier My Morning Jacket -less solo album, Regions of Light & Sound of God . Jim James says it's all partially based off a 1929 wood-cut book where a struggling artist sells his soul to The Devil in exchange for a magic paintbrush... "A New Life" [obviously] finds him @ the part where he falls off a cliff/in love with a woman who nurses him back to health. Man, I've gotta admit, Jim James really has that whole crazy/weird Hipster -fied cool vibe down pat these days; We're talkin' about a buffalo-headed girl, sharply-dressed back-up dancers, Jim James and a time-crippled lover, portal-opening doors, and just general desert weirdness. Regions of Light & Sound of God has been in-the-works since...

The Sure Shot [parts 1 and 2] by Ghostface Killah and Adrian Younge Ghostface Killah is a sharp-tongued, seasoned emcee who came up with Wu-Tang Clan during the height of 1990's Gambino Rap . Even when I first heard Wu-Tang Clan @ 12 after my cousins introduced me to the group, Ol' Dirty Bastard , Ghostface, and Raekwon were instant favourites. The 8 surviving members generally re-form about ever 3-5 years and are supposedly recording an album's-worth of new material, as we speak. RZA has become an increasingly sought-after director/actor since Man with The Iron Fists , already signing onto projects like Gang Related , Happy!, Genghis Khan , and No Man's Land. RZA 's own Soul Temple Records imprint will unleash Ghostface Killah 's Crime/Horror concept album - Twelve Reasons to Die , which was created alongside Black Dynamite (2009) producer/composer, Adrian Younge this upcoming April 16th. Younge recently spearheaded a Delfonics reunion with foundi...

Maybe Earl Sweatshirt really was locked up in a Samoan juvenile detention center from 2010-12 or maybe he was just "chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool" for a while. Whatever the real deal was, Odd Future 's 19-year-old protegee is back and after a string of non-album loosies, he's finally prepping his long-awaited sophomore album. Doris is rumored to feature production work from Pharrell , Flying Lotus , BADBADNOTGOOD , Samiyam, The Alchemist , Christian Rich... and guest vocals/instrumentals from Thundercat , Frank Ocean, DOOM , Om'mas Keith, Action Bronson , and his fellow Odd Future cohorts. Earl Sweatshirt quietly released "WHOA" late Monday-Tuesday night and eventually proceeded to break The Internet; Tyler, The Creator contributes a few ferocious bars, as well as directorial duties [Wolf Haley] for it's terribly AWESOME zonked out music video. I mean, getting introspective and deep is cool and all... But I can really...

It looks like a Four Tet (Kieran Hebden) remix is most likely the closest Justin Timberlake 's ever gonna get to Indie Rock super-stardom; Besides that time he played Bon Iver on "The Prince Show" alongside in-house SNL Beyoncé & Jay-Z impersonators. The former N'SYNC crooner seems to be focusing on music full force yet again, after a 6+ year-long absence from the music industry. Justin Timberlake hosted/performed on SNL this past Saturday (joining The 5-Timers Club ) and he's guesting on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon all week, shows airing March 11-15th. In what appears to be another act of cleverly-planned promotional, Four Tet 's label-sanctioned "Suit & Tie" remix was mysteriously leaked to The Internet late Sunday night, coincidentally followed up by a superior quality version the next day. UPDATE: It's been brought to my attention that The 20/20 Experience 's complete 70-minute tracklist is now streaming on iTunes...

For starters, I'm not entirely sure if How to Be a Man is an upcoming movie or a 3-minute short film; But regardless, this is gonna be fucking awesome! VICE co-founder Gavin McInnes currently runs his own Hipster fashion-ragging site, Street Boners & TV Carnage , frequently appears as a wildcard guest on Red Eye , he just penned How to Piss In Public (Simon & Schuster) , and now he's produced his own mid-life crisis/death wish film. Fox Studios somehow greenlit and funded How to Be a Man , which finds McInnes' character Mark coping with the harsh reality of [almost] certain death by "man-boob cancer." He then hires an amateur cameraman named Bryan (Liam Aiken) to document grizzly, yet important life lessons to eventually show to his unborn son. Let's just say that it looks like a crazy/awesome trip through the DOs and DON'Ts of sex, drugs & Rock "N" Roll ... Gavin McInnes supposedly wrote it's script in 3 short days, ...

"The recurring theme in this group is we are all NASTY producers who can rap, NASTILY. [It's] a completely self-sufficient, well-oiled machine," Jonwayne lamented about Digital Diamonds , via Twitter late Friday afternoon. He released a Nirvana -sampling track online a few months ago along with Scoop DeVille under the group name, which has now expanded to include Chuck Inglish . It's Inglish's first major project since The Cool Kids went on indefinite hiatus [broke up?] While Jonwayne on the other hand, is currently busy mixing/mastering his proper Stones Throw debut and Scoop DeVille has produced tracks for everyone from Snoop Dogg to Das Racist (R.I.P.) and Kendrick Lamar 's recent hit singles "The Recipe" and "Poetic Justice." "Delirious" is a CLASSIC hard-hitting Hip-Hop beat that sounds like it might've been collectively co-produced by Jonwayne, Chuck Inglish & Scoop DeVille . It seems to sample some...

Anyone remember around like 200-05 when Paris Hilton somehow managed to coin the phrase, "That's HOT!" (loosely meaning crazy, sexy, cool)? Well, I feel like that's kinda how MTV ranks their equally ridiculous annual Hottest MC's list, cause Hip-Hop 's such a hard thing to quantize/generalize; It's more about sheer passion, love/loss, money, girls, heartbreak, shared experience(s), etc. While MTV has yet to reveal a finalized list, here's their partial rankings: Meek Mill , Future, A$AP Rocky , Kanye, Big Sean , Drake, Nas , and Rick Ross (#10-3). Kanye soon called into Hot 97 , basically lampooning MTV VJ Sway and the network's rapper-ranking process, "I mean, I gave Sway his first TV, man... I was living in Newark [NJ] doing beats for Jay-Z and Beans and all them, and I was getting a new TV and I gave Sway his first TV. I didn't really wanna like even call to talk about the [Hottest MC's] list. I just wanna tell every...

I guess since most Hardcore/Post-Punk bands play righteous live shows nearly 1/2-all year 'round, might be the reason why they usually make weird, abstract music videos. Toronto 's very own METZ recently teamed up with director Scott Cudmore to create the slightly disturbing, alternate reality that is "Wasted." It's a pretty fucked up ride through a creepy 90's mall-style photo-portrait studio, like where teenie boppers get glamour shots done. We're talkin' about some downright deranged and uncomfortably "seedy"-looking characters: a wonky-eyed/balloon-covered couple, milk-chugging goths , a family with babyface killah son, in-expert swordsmen, strangely unfazed bloody people, etc. Sonically, "Wasted" sounds kinda like a sludge-filled mash-up between Nirvana and The Jesus Lizard , being brutally beaten with rhythmic sledgehammers, and recorded in an abandoned barn by co-producers Graham Walsh and Alexandre Bonenfan t ha. Ale...

"Apple of My Eye" was one of those songs that when I first heard Vicious Lies & Dangerous Rumors , almost instantly made me say to myself, "Why the fuck isn't this a single!?" It's a weirdly AWESOME blend of Southern -fried Hip-Hop , smooth Pop -driven melodies, and mid-80's Jazz horn-assisted The Cure , kinda like "Lovecats" or "The 13th." While on indefinite hiatus from OutKast (2007-presnt), Big Boi has really established himself as a viable solo artist and released the second of 2 albums in just 2 short years; Fresh off an 18-month tour, he's supposedly already 9-10 tracks into writing-recording his currently untitled third studio album with long-time production team, Organized Noize . "Apple of My Eye" kicks off with an innuendo-filled skit starring Big Boi , a cornrowed buddy, and an Epic Meal Time [food truck]. During the final pre-scene, Big Boi 's handed a shiny red apple, which smoothly t...